i cant sleep

ive been trying to fall asleep for an hour and a half, just lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling
no lights
no phones
no electronics
just me and my yoga pants and over sized t shirt and fuzzy blanket trying to sleep
i cant sleep
i cant even be bothered with proper punctuation
i am not tired
i just feel like i should be tired or should be sleeping because tomorrow morning i will have to get up and do things with my life that require energy and me being productive

i feel like i could write the great american novel
or i could should no could no should clean everyhting
everything
like arrange it perfectly
like i prefer it
i could write a screen play
or spend all my money on clothing
that i wont wear
because i dont feel
gafhklasfdhaf
my mind just
it isnt full of thoughts
im not having an emotional pondering
i just feel hyperactive like i can do anything

when you say you cant sleep people suggest everything
just lie still
deep breaths
eye closed
drink warm milk
i still cant sleep
i mental wrote a whole generation for this legacy
because i could write the great american novel

and im picturing having conversations with someone
and we are talking about how you feel when you make a mistake
youll be isolated from society and everything
outcast not isolated
i cant sleep
im rambling

i dont know

xx,
Jill